Hierarchy of Needs

We are all the same.  At the physiological root of being a human, we all have the same basic needs.  We need oxygen, food and water, sex and the need to expel waste from our bodies…everybody poops. 

We also all need love, self esteem and a sense of worth or mastery.   We need self-fulfillment or acceptance without prejudice and finally, self-actualization.

In our global society the most basic physiological needs are easily met, though clearly not by all.  In the United States, let alone the World, there is still the need to have clean water, food and shelter for all.  There is also a need among many in our global society to have safety and security from persecution along with the need for love and a sense of family.   

I am sympathetic to those that are lacking those basic needs, yet I can not impart opinion toward those particular struggles.  I am fortunate and grateful to have all my physiological needs met. 

This, however, is about the need and search for self-esteem; the need by all to be special, outstanding, intelligent and talented.  This need is actually good and pure even though the term “self-esteem” has been cursed with a reputation of selfishness.

There are two ways to acknowledge self-esteem, either by judgment of others or comparison to others.  One of these has been at the forefront of the idea of self-esteem we know today.

JUDGEMENT:

We can easily judge our own situation.  We judge our income, the car we drive or our living arrangements.  It is by judging, not comparison, that leads one down a path of ill acquired self-esteem, or self-esteem at the expense of others. 

Judgment breads competition.  Competition is a victory or a success at the expense of another’s loss or failure.  When there is a loser, the self-esteem that is achieved is not from within, but acquired by the power struggle within the conflict.  In a war scenario, the worst case scenario, the victor might obtain land, resources or an obscure idea of power but always at the expense of others lives. 

Competition is a struggle.   With any struggle comes injury.  Injury is an understandable component of competition and a sign that not all is well.  Competition also encourages the sense of “me versus them”. The sense of being removed and not connected, separate and unlike the enemy,  alone or left out and different. 

Consider the competition between two hypothetical companies.  Lets call them Pear and MacroHard.  The goal is the same for both competing companies; to create the best product for the consumer.  Throughout the process ideas are kept secret with a lot of energy spent to keep those ideas hidden.  Products are laden with errors, both making the same mistakes and spending equal time self correcting.  Finally the products are released and the consumers choose a victor.  Pear wins the hearts and minds of the consumer with their product and MacroHard is declared the looser.  MarcoHard shuts downs operations and either gives up or starts over with a new product.  All of the energy, good intention and investment provided by MacroHard is, for the most part, in vain and lost.

MacroHard and Pear need the same thing.  They both strive for mastery, respect and self-esteem.   Neither achieved the self-esteem they fought for.

COMPARISON:

Comparison can be a source of inspiration.  The achievements of others can inspire new ideas or methods.  Comparison can be a source of learning.  Mistakes others have made in their process can help with better or more efficient tactics toward the goal.  And with comparison comes a connection, a sense of unity and togetherness toward a common goal of growth and self-esteem.  Information is shared, ideas are found and new ideas are realized. 

I once had the honor of working with two brilliant psychologists, renowned in their field for human behavior.  I was part of a study that induced reactions from subjects under a given circumstance.  I would act and react according to the studies parameters and the subjects would react accordingly.  I was, at the time, a recent graduate with a degree in psychology and just looking for a job.  The doctors would consult with me throughout the study and listen to my opinions and ideas with undivided attention and interest.  I gave them a few ideas that inspired them to come up with new theories and approaches.  They didn't judge me by my youth and obvious ignorance within the field of psychology; they bettered their own understanding of human behavior by comparing their thoughts with my own, regardless of our obvious gap in knowledge and experience.

There is no difference between you or I or that person that just walked by on the street, or drove their car through the drive through, or washed your windows or cooked your food, or the person who provided you a service.

Everyone has the same needs: physiological, safety, belonging, esteem and self-actualization. Once our basics needs are met by all, a colossal achievement in and of itself, esteem and self-actualization can too be realized.   

The higher needs, the pinnacle of all of human need are self-esteem and self-actualization.  This can be achieved by all, if we work together and learn from each other.  If we stop judgment and competition and replace it with comparisons and contrasting ideas, working in tandem with each other, we will all gain what we need; self-actualization...also known as transcendence. 

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: